Tuesday, 16 September 2008
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Currently Listening
One Cell In the Sea
By A Fine Frenzy
Whisper
see relatedSocially Awkward and Romantically Inept
I am becoming extremely frustrated with myself recently. I am realizing (fairly quickly) how socially awkward and romantically inept I am.
Now let me start off with this: My mom raised me with the mantra, "Boys have cooties." In other words, this meant no touching, kissing, and only side hugs. She continued to tell that to me . . . up until I turned 18 it seems. Now, seeing as how I never had much of a rebelious streak, I obeyed her. Well, okay, I gave good, normal, frontways hugs. That's not the point, a hug is a hug. I never really branched out. I've had a few boyfriends, and all ending kind of awkwardly distant. I've never really kissed anyone either. I've been kissed, but I never really know how to respond. It's like my mind throws up a million walls and things for me to fight through, that I can't process it all at once. I tense up and freak out.
I'm only just now getting comfortable with hanging out with guys on my own. I'm comfortable with hugs, and cuddling. Most of the time. I'm terrible at flirting. And at kissing! Ha! I've never been worse at anything (ok, theoretical physics and advanced calculus might have kissing beat in the areas of things I'm terrible at.)
And it is so damn frustrating. I'm trying to let go of being insecure. To know that it's ok to just chill around guys. It's not like I'm going to turn around and whore myself out.
Anyways, I really needed to vent.
Adelaide
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Comments (4)
awww.
I'm sort of the same way! But don't label yourself as a bad kisser. Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet.
After you accept the fact that feeling shy around guys is perfectly normal, you'll learn to relax and be yourself. and I'm sure you're an awesome person.
@wilcolover - Thanks. I'm working on it. I'm learning to keep the insecurity lady in my head from talking. It's hard though.
First I'd like to say, it's awesome you can be so honest. Secondly, its awkward to kiss people, if your shy to begin with it just makes it harder, combine that with inexperience, and anyone would feel silly. I'm sure when your with the right guy, by the second or third time it will be as easy as breathing
@Cman - Yeah, I tend towards near brutal honesty. It helps me to sort through my problems and frustrations when I'm honest with myself and people.
I certainly hope that this will all work out.
Thanks for the encouragement. God knows I need it.